Is Happiness a Choice?

Mo Gawdat’s Happiness Formula: Why Happiness Is a Choice

This was an amazing episode on the Tony Robbins Podcast for over an hour, let's summarise it in minutes…

“It’s okay to feel sad, but it’s up to us how long it lasts.”

That’s how Mo Gawdat — former Chief Business Officer at Google X, engineer, entrepreneur, and author — opened his talk on happiness. It’s a message that hits hard in a world where success often doesn’t translate into joy.

Mo’s life is a powerful reminder that wealth, status, and achievement can never guarantee happiness. In fact, for him, they nearly buried it.

From Carpenter to Google Executive

Mo’s story didn’t begin with boardrooms and billion-dollar projects. He started as a carpenter, earning just $29 a month. By the age of 29, he felt like he was “printing money.” Success seemed limitless. And yet, he was miserable. Despite a career at Google that most would dream of, money and possessions brought him only fleeting moments of satisfaction.

He recalled once buying two Rolls-Royces on eBay simply because he could. When they arrived, his happiness lasted around only seven minutes. Then, his focus shifted to what was wrong with them — instead of gratitude for the ability to buy them in the first place.

Mo’s realisation was sobering: people’s lives have shifted from their hearts to their heads. The younger generation faces even more challenges, with overwhelming choices and rising rates of depression and suicide.

The Tragedy That Changed Everything

Mo’s turning point came through unimaginable loss. His son, Ali, passed away at just 21 after what should have been a routine appendix operation. A series of five medical errors cost him his life. From that moment, Mo made it his mission to spread the message of happiness — to reach at least 10 million people. Not because his life was easy, but because he knew how fragile it was.

The Happiness Formula

As an engineer, Mo looked for a logical way to approach happiness. What he found was deceptively simple:

Happiness = Events – Expectations

In other words, happiness happens when life meets or exceeds our expectations. Unhappiness is the gap between the two.

Think about nature. We don’t expect trees to be perfect. We embrace their chaos — their uneven branches, trunks and colours. And because our expectations are low, we find them beautiful.

Mo also connected happiness to our brain chemistry:

• Serotonin: the calm, peaceful, safe feeling that signals true happiness.
• Dopamine: the reward hormone, addictive and fleeting, often mistaken for happiness.
• Adrenaline (stress): a survival mechanism that keeps us alive short-term but damages our bodies if it lingers.
• ‘Fight or flight mode’ effects your liver, kidneys, digestive system, vital organs and seriously damages our bodies!

His conclusion? Happiness is not luxury — it’s the ultimate survival mechanism !!!

Training the Brain

Mo calls our tendency to replay negative events the “Netflix of unhappiness.” Left unchecked, our brains get stuck in loops of worry, regret, and fear. But like muscles in the gym, the brain can be trained. The more we practice focusing on the right things, the stronger our mental resilience becomes. He shared the story of a monk who meditated for 60,000 hours — literally rewiring his brain to release negative thought patterns. And during meditation, Mo emphasised, it isn’t about emptying your mind. It’s about noticing when your mind wanders, and gently bringing it back to what matters and what you wanted to focus on.

Mo’s 7-Second Rule

One of the most practical tools Mo shared was his 7-second reset. On average, he says, it takes him no more than 7 seconds to move from sadness or anger back to happiness. His secret? Three simple questions:

1. Is it true?
2. How can I fix it?
3. What can I do, about what I cannot change?

This framework helps shift focus from rumination to action — or acceptance and can make you happy within seconds!

We are huge fans of Tony Robbins & Mo Gawdat's work here at Hy-lyfe, follow us for more!

Sources; Tony Robbins Podcast & ChatGPT